Have Your Clothes
Reached Their Expiration Date?

 

"Never wear anything that panics the cat."

P.J. O'Rourke

 

If it's been awhile since you've cleared out your clothes wardrobe, it may be time for a review of what you've got in your closet. 

Wouldn't it be handy if clothes came with a little expiration date stamped on the label, so you'd know when it was time to get rid of them? 

You know, just like the stuff in your fridge, like milk and cheese and bacon. They have expiration dates stamped right on them, so you don't even have to open up the carton for a little sniff test. Once they've passed that date on the package, you can just toss them out with abandon and go about your day without a second thought. 

(Well, OK, so you might have had a second thought and felt bad about not eating up that fancy cheese you bought for the party two months ago, but you got rid of it anyway, right?) 

It's not so simple for your clothes wardrobe, however. 

If your clothes had an expiration date, then you could let go of the guilt that has you say, "but it was such an expensive blouse, and I have only worn it twice!" Or "but I'm sure this will come back in style." Sorry, but that blouse is waaaaay past its expiration date, honey. 

So I've created a little checklist for you, so you can easily know when your clothes wardrobe has reached its expiration date (in other words, these items are now clothing clutter): 

 

  1. If you have anything with football-sized shoulder pads, it's past its expiration date.
  2. If you have a pair of jeans with skin-tight ankles and little zippers at the hem, it's past its expiration date.
  3. If you have an outfit that requires ankle warmers, it's past its expiration date.
  4. If you have a t-shirt that says one-size-fits-all, it doesn't, and it's past its expiration date.
  5. If you have a blouse that you wore in the '70s, it's past its expiration date.
  6. If you have anything in your closet that you have never worn (and you have had it more than a year), it's past its expiration date.
  7. If you have a pair of pants that has bell bottoms, it's past its expiration date.
  8. If you have anything that is faded, no longer fits, or has a rip or tear that can't be repaired, it's past its expiration date.
  9. If you have the dress you wore to your senior prom and you're over 30, it's past its expiration date.
  10. If you have anything you no longer use and love in your closet, it's past its expiration date - so get rid of it.